8:30 PM

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

holland: my silly willy always has a mouthful of something boy.

clark: i've got you boo.


clark's birth story

10:52 PM


clark's birth wasn't short nor easy, but on august 11, 2014, he came bursting into this world after two entire nights of contractions and twelve hours of hard labor, four days late. i should have known he'd be a mama's boy at this very point. he was born at 9:21 in the morning. i have never felt such immense pain nor such sweet relief. my labor was long, the delivery rapid. skip this part if you're not into medical stuff. rapid as in i was only eight centimeters dilated, experiencing the most excruciating pain of my life. pain that was nothing like a contraction, pain that completely blindsided me and was a constant ripping apart feeling even into my abdomen. pain that i should not have felt if it was a contraction considering i had asked for an epidural an hour before. at the top of what i felt was my pain tolerance and exhausted my epidural was placed just as i went into transition (which i don't recommend). i was given an hour to rest, then agreed to allow my doctor to rupture my bag of water in hopes of speeding things along after hitting a several hour lull. however, meconium filled fluid only trickled. what i was feeling indeed was not a contraction. unfamiliar pain overtook, i almost immediately burst into tears completely overwhelmed. thus far i had done well, bouncing on an exercise ball for well...hours, as i focused on one single spot on the wall, breathing through each contraction, applying (a lot) of lavender oil to further relax...but now, i looked to my husband filled with fear, and told him he had to get someone that second, i did my best to stay calm and reminded myself that god had everything under control. my room filled with hospital staff, a lot of staff. everyone was in a flurry. they prepared a warming table, and took their positions as my doctor told me to push with all of my might for fear of uterine rupture or placental abruption. i was told clark had to come out right now. with no urge to push at all, i pushed with all of my might. three short minutes later my baby came bursting forth, literally, along with all the amniotic fluid that he had been blocking. he was beautiful, breathing, healthy, and huge (nine pounds one ounce)! i cannot help but think what may have happened had my water had been broken any sooner. had it been so, there is no way i would have been able to get him out on my own. i feel like we avoided something potentially terrible and life threatening by a thread, praise the lord. we know now that mostly likely what we were up against was placental abruption with a large baby and my water breaking creating a suction effect.

as clark was brought up and laid on my chest the very first thing i saw was his arm. i remember being astonished. he had arm roll after arm roll, and a full head of dark hair. he was perfect and squishy with a nearly round head. he was immediately placed on my chest. there we heard those first precious cries and there he stayed for nearly two hours as routine tests were done before we transferred rooms. it was such a special time. with holland's birth we didn't get to experience it this way. he was whisked away and suctioned and rubbed and checked over before we ever got to hold him. having myself be the first arms to embrace clark was something so special. clark's birth was intimate with just my husband, myself, and hospital staff. i even got to watch holland wake just hours before on our wi-fi baby monitor to find grandpa waiting for him. all those months of waiting and we had our second baby in our arms while our first was in great hands.

once we transferred rooms and took a little recovery time we invited family and friends in. my husband met with my parents who had been watching holland, and the two of them snuck away to get baby brother a welcome to the world toy. upon meeting his baby brother for the first time holland gave him the stuffed animal he had picked out (a smaller fox to match his own big fox), hopped in the hospital bed with me, and acted as he'd been a big brother his whole life. it was amazing. he also brought his new plastic veggies that he snuck out of dad at the toy store and fed me grapes before discovering all the buttons on the hospital bed. it was a beautiful (long) day.

that evening my husband left the hospital to relieve my parents, and spend some one-on-one time with holland whilst clark and i settled in for the night. we were discharged the next morning and brought coffee and a wagon to hold all of our belongings and flowers we'd been showered with by the two most handsome boys i know. the rest is history. how i love these boys.


a shower for clark.

10:51 PM

once upon a time (not so long ago) i was 36 weeks pregnant and my dear friend threw me the most beautiful baby shower. i was absolutely convinced our little clark would be early and actually wondered if i'd even make it to my shower. he most definitely wasn't early (ahem, rather four LONG days late) and my shower was absolutely gorgeous, scattered with antlers and succulents, lots of pregnant mammas and the cutest babes in town. i do believe my entire home could be decorated as so and it would be just perfect. we dined on just about every goodie you can think of, from iced chai, to three different kinds of scones, fruits and pasta, funfetti, cheesecake, and sparkling lemonade, an assortment of cheese and chocolate, and the best rosemary crackers you've ever had. we spent most of our time visiting with one another in the coolness of the morning. a book was passed along with clark's name to be filled in according to each letter, silly sayings were written on diapers to make me smile at those 2 am changes, and we were prayed for and showered with gifts and love. it was truly a lovely affair. thank you ladies for making the day so special.



9:22 PM

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

holland: in his element, frog hunting. and you better believe he's a good catch.

clark: these moments won't last, but while they do, i'll take every single one.



2:21 PM

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

holland: getting the hang of this whole big brother thing, brother snuggles.

clark: tummy time



2:14 PM

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

holland: morning routines. our bed, snuggles, cartoons.

clark: toes so scrumptious i could eat them.



2:10 PM

"a portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014"

holland: learning to hold his baby brother

clark: his first of days, a snuggle bear if i do say so myself.


brother's // holland and clark

11:36 PM

three weeks ago this little muffin was in my belly. today he lay on the rug gazing curiously at his big brother and his brother back at him as they learn how to behave around one another, both equally new at this role thrown at them. bringing clark into our family has been a dream. he is sweet and snuggly, curious, yet calm, quick to make eye contact and hold it like i have never seen. and holland is full of so much love for his baby brother. he is eager to help, sometimes a little loud, and very inclusive. "i get clark" he says, "clark come!?" inquisitively asking with each move we make. "i hold clark hand" with each diaper change. we've been blessed with these boys, thoroughly. though, don't be fooled, we mostly definitely have our moments (you know the ones where both kids are crying, you're starving and tired, it's suppose to be nap time, and then someone poops all over the (carpeted) floor? yep, we have them too) but right now these moments are trumping those and i am holding them tight.


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