In the thick of it.

8:03 PM

Yesterday was hands down the hardest day of my life as a mother. And you know what? As I think back on it now, it really shouldn't have been. Mostly, we were just at home except for the brief moment we were at Target and I left without a single thing because it just wasn't going to happen), but it was. The little things seemed huge, I could hardly keep my cool, and Holland was TESTING AND TESTING AND TESTING all. day. long. And now, I sit, frantically searching the web for "what is wrong with me". I just don't feel right.  I am a hormonal mess. I have never wanted to start my period so bad in my life. I even had my doctor order a long string of blood tests (which I still haven't had done going on two weeks now). I am crampy and exhausted, emotional, moody, the little things seem BIG, my motivation is gone but all of this only in waves. I feel great,  eh, make that pretty good, and then downright terrible. And today, I come across this article from A CUP OF JO: Motherhood Mondays: The hardest two months of my life. And it all makes SO much sense. Why don't people tell you these things?

I started the weaning process with Holland around 11 months, expecting him to nurse in the night well into 18 months, maybe longer, but it was not so. He had other plans. And almost 2 weeks ago, he just stopped nursing all together. Just like that, he turned me down and never went back. I admit, I was a little shocked, definitely sad. Even in the middle of the night, I LOVED that time. I wasn't ready, but he was and so be it. I made it to my 12 month goal, and that feels good but seriously, my hormones are screaming. My body is fighting me. I hate chalking behavior up to hormones, but I am calling this one. This has got to be what is going on and I am in the THICK of it. I only hope it passes quickly. And if just one other mom stumbles upon this and can relate it will be well worth it and so I am sharing. I had not the slightest idea to expect even the least of this pre-weaning. Had I, I probably would have waited to do so. But, here I am, and in the mean time I am trying my darndest to not let "feelings" get the best of me and reciting to myself over and over again truths I know all too well, "the Lord will not give you more than you can handle, the Lord will not give you more than you can handle…"My heart knows it, my lips proclaiming it reaffirms. And I praise God I am not alone in this.

And looking at my beautiful son, and loving husband it seems absurd it is even possible to feel some of the ways A CUP OF JO discusses, but I think she is majorly onto something. And knowing it too will pass is something I welcome with open arms. Here's to feeling normal again!

Holland Cooper, even in the stinkiest days I still love you to the moon buddy. To the moon.


Brown Rice Crisp Treats from SPROUTED KITCHEN

7:36 PM

Picture from Sprouted Kitchen.
Picture from Sprouted Kitchen.
After being sick much of the week we decided to celebrate a little as we are on the mend. And what better way than with chocolate? Side note* summer colds suck, for lack of better word. Being cooped up in nice weather is pretty such torture. But it's ok, we have these brown rice crisp treats to indulge upon now. It went like this, Holland played with mixing utensils and sort of destroyed the kitchen but had fun in doing so, I mixed and so on. Until spoon licking time…I decided today was the day. The day to give him his first of many good ol' spoon licks. I hope you have sweet memories of baking with your mom in the kitchen. Or getting off the school bus only to be hit in the face with the smell of fresh baked cookies awaiting you. I do. I am lucky. And so, like I did with my mom, my boy bakes in the kitchen with me. And today, today, I introduced my boy into the sweet, sweet world of chocolate. And I can guarantee he loved every spoon lick of it. Just like his momma.

Thanks Sprouted Kitchen for such a fabulous post. It was throughly enjoyed.


Skateboarding 101

1:11 PM

Brought to you by our very own Holland Cooper!

A few weeks ago a friend dropped by on their skateboard. Holland pretty much thought it was the coolest thing ever and gave it a go. I think he made his Pops pretty proud. I think I see a surfboard and a snowboard (and probably a whole lot of other kind of boards) in his future.


The Hoover Dam and the last of our summer vacation pictures, I promise!

6:40 PM

Are you sick of these yet? If not, now you will be. ;) The last of our summer vacation photos, these taken by one of our travel buddies, Mr. Jason Stewart (with the exception of the couple photos of the Hoover Dam). Clearly he knows how to work his camera. I have a lot to learn.

Oh, and maybe you're noticing some changes around here, like the name or banner by chance? I found a great tutorial on how to make one using Picasa and figured I'd give it a go. What do you think? And the name, it was time for something a little shorter and a little sweeter. Hopefully there will be a lot more changes coming your way. It's time to update this thing folks! It's a process, but I'm working on it. Slowly. I have a lot to learn in the whole blog world, and a one year old so bear with me. It wouldn't be an authentic blog post from me if I didn't ask for some patience now would it? Seriously, how many times have I said that?

Anyhow, without further ado…more photos.

Now there's that family Grand Canyon picture ^^

Check out that super moon and vast fields smack dab in the middle of nowhere ;) Actually, Arizona I think. 

Hey guys! Holland found his nose!

How beautiful is that sky!

Will's face, priceless.

So thankful for amazing friends. And the BEST God parents to our little man.

Boom! And we're done! Moving on now, I promise.


South Rim Grand Canyon.

9:45 PM

Oh, hello!

^^These pesky guys were everywhere! Pesky as in you literally had to shuu them off of you.

Amazing that these beautiful flowers grow inside the Grand Canyon itself. Are they gorgeous or what?

Happy hikers :)

trip partners!! :)

We only hiked about a mile and a half into it (it's amazing how that whole mamma bear thing kicks in once you are well…a mamma) but it was well worth the drive. Pre-mammahood I probably would have been one of those hikers that attempted to hike all the way down and back up again in one day despite the signs everywhere advising you not to do so, but just over a mile down something inside of me told me it's time to go back up. We had plenty of water, all the right gear, but the idea of a falling apart, hot, tired one year old and miles to hike back up a steep path just didn't seem worth it. And so we snapped a few shots, awed a little bit more and climbed back up. And Holland was a TROOPER. Though our friend got hit in the temple by a falling rock and leaving a nasty bump. Yikes!

Back at the rim, we enjoyed a pretty decent and totally reasonably priced lunch at the hotel lounge, (it was nice not to be gouged after coming all that way) more walking, and some relaxing in some nearby grass and shade where Holland proceeded to eat animal poop of some sort before we departed. :/ Memories, right?

Somewhere we do have a family picture of us all at the Grand Canyon but I have to track it down ;)

Grand Canyon, you are pretty stinking awe inspiring.


Holland makes three.

8:09 PM


Yesterday we busted out photobooth for the first time in a long while and this is what happened. Our little goof of a son started to copy our faces (at least in a couple of the photos) and looked super duper cute in the rest of the photos. Clearly, I'm not biased at all.  ;) It is such a joy to watch our (almost) 13-month-old mold and develop into a little man. He is a gift.

Holland Cooper, we love you! Thanks for putting up with us silly parents.

How great is his face in the second photo?


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