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10:45 PM



After extending our trip by a couple days, we are home. What a fabulous trip it was and always is. Our Holland was one sweet boy the whole time. I think he stole a few hearts while we were away. ;) He also did a whole lot of growing in just a week. Where did my newborn go? He is in 3-6 month clothes already! Boy did that go by fast.

So one might think, home sweet home, right? Well…sort of. Yes, and no. Yes, in that we do love where we live, the friends we have, the sense of community, our church, our little rental home. The surroundings, but no, in the sense of family. With each trip to Oregon it gets a little harder to come home. We never feel quite ready to leave. Thankfully, it's only a 6 hour trip (driving) to visit again. This trip was no exception. We wanted to stay forever. Once home, it takes a couple days to settle back in to where we are, no matter how long or short the trip. Then, I fall in love with Santa Rosa all over again, but until then my mind wonders. "Where will we end up? Is the Lord preparing us for a move? ….my heart feels open….maybe he is? Should we just take the leap? and on and on...

You see, I have lived within 30 miles of the area we are in all of my life. I've never lived outside of this county. The thought of a move is both exciting and scary. Though mostly scary. Yet after a visit with our extended family, quite tempting. And this is the process I go through this every time. I think. I question. I pray. And then a few days pass, and I go back to routine. I am a creature of habit. I settle in, at least of course until we visit again. Then, I repeat.

How about you? How do you feel about moves? Do you go through this same process? I want to have stories to tell my children one day, and grandchildren. Maybe even great grandchildren Experience. Excitement. Not a life of all comfort and routine. 

And, if/when a time to move comes, I  assume/hope/pray that if the Lord does want to move us, that I will feel a sense of peace in the move, my heart will be open and willing. That I will listen. That I will follow. That I will obey. That I will move where He moves. That I will be rooted in Him not the place or circumstance we are in.

Could this be it? I don't know. Perhaps the beginning of something new for us, perhaps not. There are a lot of variables…as there always is. Wouldn't it just be a whole lot easier if we knew what was to come? But then again, where would the fun in that be?

Anyhow, wherever we are, I am looking forward to the days to come. What will come, only God knows. It's day by day for us.

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1 comments

  1. Sis, I share these identical feelings. Its like a game of tug-o-war that's never over. Sometimes the pull is stronger and sometimes it lets up. I'd be more than happy to explore options with you if you'd like and maybe it would help you wrap your head around really where you want to be. For me, Ive been doing a lot of soul searching, I'm not done yet....but i have found i only have 1 thing- thats it- that keeps me in Sonoma County. I am not as happy as I want to be or "should be" and that's why im soul searching. I think a lot of it is a need to have family around me more than I do. I miss them dearly and they bring out a new light in me. Whatever you decide, I support you, but please don't take Holland too far away from Auntie!!! or I just may have to join you in your journies ;) I love you Mal and don't be afraid, you're not alone in your thoughts. Perhaps its just time to expand our horizons? and it sure would be nice to be close and have eachother along the way...

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