i can hardly believe it has already been almost two weeks since i have wrote. my best blog posts always come to mind either driving, usually as i near home, or in the shower. super convenient, right? and then i sit down to write, and nothing. or it's just not the same. i am much more eloquent in my mind.  all to say, in my mind i have written much, here…not so much.

it's been slow around here. and i like it. this season of our life has been a major shift. with my husband gone much of the time and with our car, it has limited holland and i on what we are to do. not to mention, winter weather (which we finally seem to be getting) and the occasional winter blues. but this time has allowed me to realize, up until now, so much of my time, focus, and energy has been on going, going, going. rushing here or there. be it to the next place or my son's next stage. taking him to museums, or children's discovery places, new park after new park, the zoo, city dates, play date after play date,  going, going, going. and right now that just isn't reality (not that he even will remember those things). during the last nineteen months i got completely caught up in the new-parent-i-have-to-show-and-share-everything-with-my-son thing. but really, most of those things are for us parents. our babies have no interest of the zoo when they are, i don't know, four months old, but we do. i think it is natural to want to share things with our children. the activities we found and still find joy in and i am not saying this is wrong at all, but when busyness overtakes all, it is something to ponder. when it is constant and tiresome and time is slipping away, but you keep doing it anyway. i thank the lord for the season we have entered as different as it may be.

we have spent many of our days at home lately. our days are now filled with more casual mornings, coloring or painting, stories, a little too much handy manny (in all honesty), cooking together, bird watching, dancing, house chores, long walks, coffee dates, occasional trips to the park, many, many afternoons sprawled on the floor of my son's room stacking blocks only to smash them down again and again, moments finding pure joy from something as simple as a jack-in-the-box, and laughing to our whits end at just about nothing, and you know what? i love it. though sometimes i long for those day trips, and some of our days at home seem unreasonably long, i know a time where we are busy again will be back once more, but this slow, simple pace is nice. i always told myself i wanted a simple life. at times even pleaded for one, and in the end, i was the one to blame for making it not so. and the time in which i was so focused on keeping us busy and entertained day in and out, was utterly fleeting. in some ways, i feel as i missed out on a pretty huge chunk of holland's baby months because i was so high strung if we are to be honest. i didn't soak in those sweet newborn snuggles the way i thought i would, i didn't savor quiet afternoons alone with him, all the while thinking we had plenty of time for that later. and my baby became a toddler before my eyes, those sweet newborn snuggles faded, the days of rocking him to sleep in my arms faded and traded for the exploration of independence. but i am cherishing my son now, cherishing him in the way i thought i always was, cherishing him in a more real, intimate kind of way. and it is my absolute hope to continue this as our clark arrives late this summer. to spend quite moments together, to bask in each other, to let our boys just be and be together. to let them be happy and satisfied in themselves, in each other, in family, in the mundane, because it is often the mundane that is the most beautiful. if you let it be.